Online dating the rules

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Of course, when you think about it, what seems more silly: joining a community of fellow looking-for-love singles, who are introduced to you based on potential compatibility?

Or heading to the nearest bar, feverishly scanning for someone who ‘looks' single, then hoping like mad that a) they’ll notice you and b) that you have something – anything – in common? And the statistics support this: recent research has shown that internet dating is now the second most-common way to find a partner, while as many as 1-in-3 marriages start online.

Indeed, if you’re serious about finding a partner, it’s ok – and even necessary – to work at that goal.

It doesn’t make the love you find any less worthy or any less real.

Not only is that a lot of pressure for the men to deal with, the women run the risk of missing a connection with someone wonderful, all because they were too shy to ask him out.

A great thing about online dating is that those you meet via your partner suggestions have already declared their availability.

It can be nerve-wracking to say hello to someone new, but what’s even scarier is the thought that this should be left in the hands of just one gender.This can take the fear-factor out of sending a quick message to say hello. Try clicking the ‘Send Smile’ button on a promising profile – it’s a more subtle way to show your interest.First dates are exciting, there’s no doubt about it.And that means that some rules which were seen as gospel truth are no longer relevant in today's dating environment.Chances are you’ve heard the lofty remarks about how online dating is somehow inferior, a belief supported by the notion that singles can only really find love when introduced by friends or via some sort of adorably contrived movie meet cute.In fact, they might just be the last first date you’ll ever have to go on – so you have to make them count.While the excitement part of this is hard to control, it is wise to not put all your hopes in one date.Essentially, The New Rules deals with social media and our increased interconnectivity by ignoring it all and pretending humanity was at a comms high around the time Rapunzel was locked up in that tower Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider practice what they preach.As authors of the dating guide that became a phenomenon – referenced in Sex and the City, and updated this year to include advice on how to date in the digital age – they achieved global fame for being women that know what men want.All told, it encouraged women to be a bit more cynical about their happily-ever- afters. When I ring them for our interview, both Fein and Schneider's phones refuse to accept my call because my number comes up as blocked.As the gurus who invented call screening, curtailing any contact that isn't face-to-face as quickly as possible, and good old-fashioned ignoring, this strikes me as particularly apt.

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