My sexual freedom gave me sensual pleasure, but it also gave me courage. Alcohol, travel, loneliness and sex don’t always mix well.
I found myself slipping out of a few too many rooms early in the morning with only a hazy recollection of the night before.
My first guy was an Irish lad on the sultry beaches of Thailand, who lured me in with the incredibly heady promise of, “I bet you’ve never been properly f*cked.” He was right on that account, but his incredibly small penis and 30-second performance failed to back up that claim.
And then there was that lanky, long-haired Australian guy that shared my bunk space on a train to Mumbai.
I never thought I would be the hottest sex gossip, but then my post-divorce life was definitely anything but expected. I did something I had always considered unthinkable. Travel provided an international buffet of men and I was heaping up my plate and going back for seconds.
I think the same thing happens to us, but with a lot less media attention.But really, it all boils down to the fact that neither of us was truly maintaining our relationship with the Lord. If God had been our focus and our passion, the worldly definitions of success wouldn’t have widdled us down and exhausted us.If God had been our center it would have been easier to fight through the dark valley we were struggling in.Sure, men go on the same post-divorce sexual journey, but I doubt they feel guilty or slutty because of it. Not because men don’t, but because sex can be a tool for rediscovery and healing. So ladies, if you’re ready to become a sexual freedom seeker, do not feel guilty. I claimed what I wanted and disregarded what I didn’t.I gave myself permission to make choices and not be attached to the outcome.We do dangerous shit, drink too much and sleep with as many people as we can.It’s our “Britney Year,” and it’s the rite of passage into normalcy.I remember talking to a friend right before I moved from my hometown and away from my marriage.“If there’s one piece of advice I can give you,” she said, “it would be to not rush into another relationship.” I assured her this was the furthest thing from my mind, but she insisted.